Step 3 – Contact and Flirt

Yes, you will have to work numbers to get results. This is true in the regular online dating world as well as the fling dating world. Yes, this is a pain in the ass. The advantage of casting your net on hookup sites (especially the pay ones) is that you’re not catching fish that don’t exist. So while you may not have been successful sending 50 intro messages on plentyoffish, you’ll get more replies on booty call sites, because your audience is focused.

Contact (a.k.a.: saying hello) guidelines

There are a few guidelines to follow when contacting women on hookup sites. We like to refer to this as the ‘minimum sentence guideline’. The optimal amount of (proper and full) sentences in any given initial message to a new prospect is 3 to 5. They should be short, funny and SPECIFIC to one of her pictures. If you’re the guy that sends the same message each time you see a picture of a woman you like, you need to shift your effort a little. Think about it – can you tell that the email you got is SPAM when you see ‘En1arge U RRR PEN1$’?

Anyone can tell a generic message from a genuine one. Unfortunately, women get so many messages that you need to optimize yours. This means being specific AND meaningful at the same time. What a stretch!

You need to find 3 to 4 sentences that will:

  • FIRST … Make her smirk
  • THEN … Make her smile
  • AND / OR … Make her bite her lower lip
  • FINALLY … Make her act on that impulse to reply to you. A call to action, if you will

The entire purpose of the steps above is to lure this girl to click on your profile picture, which should follow our picture posting guidelines. That picture is your main anchor to getting her more interested in you. If you have a good pic and it looks fairly good, you’re well on your way to booty call land.

What to avoid when contacting her

In general, avoid writing long-winded emails. In the case of your initial contact with a woman, less is more. Writing anything above 5 short sentences will guarantee no reply back. Sending multiple mails to the same girl is also a big no-no. If you don’t get a reply to your initial contact, jut let it go and move on. If she was interested, she would have replied back.

What to do once she replies

Once she replies back to you, you need to move her into the conversation stage. Your entire goal here should be to get her on some type of real-time communication method. This is . Email conversations have a way of getting very boring after awhile and the moment she feels bored, you’ve lost her. Email messages aren’t interactive. The quicker you get her on IM / audio chat / video chat, the better your chances of success.

Your conversations should be light and fun. Learn to integrate some basic humour into your discussions. Poking fun at her is acceptable; being a dickhead isn’t.

What to expect timing wise …

In general, most women need about 2 to 3 hours of talking / chatting before agreeing to meet you. We saw that the women we met through Passion Search take less, because they are time-constrained by family / work obligations.

Having a conversation today is not what it was years ago. There are new tools that you can use to your advantage. We generally have a few things ready when we start talking to a girl. We have good pictures we can send her, which were not posted on the hookup site. We also keep a few funny / cute youtube links handy. The ones that consistently get the best responses are the ones that show little puppies / kittens doing cute things. No surprise there.

So – keep it light and fun, and after a little while setup the initial date.

How To Hookup - Step Four

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